So because I am inherently lazy and insecure, I’m starting this blog with a post previously written and enjoyed. Comments and compliments welcome, mean people go elsewhere. Also – you should all know that I am obsessed with my cat Rose.
Story time! Everything is funny when you haven’t slept a single wink in days! Ahhh the perks of insomnia. There had to be an upside right?
Anyway, Rose likes to chase butterflies. Isn’t that just sweet? But she’s an inside only cat and the stupid little moron doesn’t understand what the hell a glass window is. She usually jumps up on the curtains, uselessly smacks against the glass and then falls down like a sack of spuds. But this time she was on the inside of the curtain and in an unprecedented turn of events, her claws stuck in the fly screen instead of my nice lace curtains and because she a bit of a graceless chubber, her weight made the fly screen pop out and she fell out of the house. At which point we both froze, I was thinking ‘fuck, my indoor cat is about to panic, bolt and get lost’. But no. She stood as she fell, on the fly screen, now on the grass in the front yard and screamed her head off until I came out and rescued her. So brave.
It was a defining moment in our relationship. I realised she’s a douche canoe, and she confirmed that I am her slave.