Be bold… not like that!

Dear tribe,

Are you tired of all this talktalktalk?

Walk softly through the world…. Be bold! Have courage! Know your value! You’re worth it! 

And while you’re doing that…

Respect every single person in your life, but not if they don’t earn it, but definitely if they’re older and/or more superior to you by virtue of gender or position in the family hierarchy. Or if they’re your boss. Wait, actually, just sit back down and be a good.

Is anyone else getting confused by all these messages? Be bold and brave and live your truth! But don’t make waves. And really, are you sure you’re making good choices? Did you check with someone… else?

Geez. I’m tired of trying to balance all of that!  If you’re on the team, you know what I mean, right? 

I make choices that are impulsive, fun and harmless. And I enjoy the fuck out of my life! Yeah I do. I do the happy thing. I get the pericing, get the tatt, shave my hair, let it go natural, colour it pink. I age gracefully, any way I want to. Cos it took me decades to get here, healthy and happy. I’m brash, loud and wild. That’s me when I’m feeling great and my anxiety has given me a day off and I can have some freedom.

However am I careful with the big stuff? Heck yes. I ask people around me who I trust for advice. I talk to my partner. I take his thoughts on board. Notice I said partner? Yep, that beautiful man be my husband for over a decade now. But he’s much more than that. He’s my best friend, my most reliable support, my safe place to fall, the one who makes me laugh, the one I try to make happy. ‘Cos lemme tell you, when that man smiles at me, my heart still goes booooom. He’s my partner in crime, my choice for life. 

But, and this is where discussions get heated… that BUT. Bear with me. Please, listen. I’m not here to get my hate on. Promise!

I don’t have final say on whether he quits smoking, makes business decisions, cuts loose with his mates, wants to shave his face or grow a beard. He’s a grown ass man and part of why I chose him is cos that man is an alpha. Heart goes boom again.

I’m an alpha too. A Queen. I get final say on what drugs I put in my body to wrestle my mental illness. I get to pick my psych team, hair colour, body mods, career path, clothes, and levels of sobriety. Just like he does. Because we’re partners. In a partnership everything is equal and each voice is worthy of being heard, considered, discussed. Does it get heated? Mmmmm yep! Passionate people get that way occasionally.

We’re fooling no one if we think that things our significant others say to us don’t land hard and linger. Those words aren’t always kind. I hope we’re lucky enough to have chosen our partners to understand that sometimes frustration, anger and fear can all mingle together and make an awful racket. It’s very distracting. But if the house of love is built on a strong foundation, that mofo can shift and tremble in a storm, but it will still be standing strong the next day.

So, if you’re wondering what the take away of this is?

You do you. Truly, honest, authentic you. If you’ve chosen the people around you wisely, then they will be your loudest supporters. They’ll tell you when you’re being a dickhead and then offer you a hug. They will lift you up and keep you true at the same time.

If you have people in your life you can’t trust that way? Who tell you to be yourself and then say: ew, not like that, without any valid reason?

Learn to let go. Shake off the guilt we’re all weighed down with. Stop being nice to people who don’t even deserve a line in our diary. Let them be a lesson and move right along. Ditch the toxic drama llama’s and then go chill out with your besties.

Your real peeps are solid gold. Just like you. If any of this made sense to you, straighten that crown, shoulders back and rock it. You got this. 

💋 Love Bon.

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