Living vicariously 

So I’ve got an upper respiratory tract infection. Which sounds all fancy, but my Dad and I get them so often we just call them URTie’s and carry on. Or he does. I tend to lie about, swinging wildly between crying like a baby, losing my center of gravity, falling down and then laughing at my own whiney self. I also get angry. Like, just crazy angry about any little thing. And to keep it interesting, I paradoxically run out of fucks to give and life turns to shambles. Fun times!

Even funner is the fact that since I seem to have the pelvic floor muscles of a bath sponge, when I cough so hard I vomit, I also tend to piss my pants. Oh hilarious. And then I lie on the bathroom floor, laughing until I feel able to brush my teeth and change my pants.

ANYWAY… the point being I may have lost the will to live, but not yet the desire to shout into the void of the Internet. So here’s some updates from my house. Try not to die of excitement. And yes, all of my animals are adorable and expressively give their permission to be included in this blog cos mummy said so. Bless ’em.

It’s Winter here, and Bam Bam was enjoying a nap in the sunshine. Crazy lawn mower lady from next door walked into our yard for god only knows what reason, so Bam felt duty bound to go spackers barking at her. Quite rightly so. But also, she’s old and it was nap time so she kept a suspicious eye on said neighbor, while resting her little head on the cat tree. Ahhh bless. It’s not easy being this cute and angry at the same time!

Nikki is the little one, just looking at me like: oi, this ones fallen asleep on duty aye?

Also my senior cat Neville (16 this year) still insists on going outside during the day. Even when it’s raining. I finally got him inside (stubborn bastard) and he curled up on my lap cos he’s cold. Rose jumped up, sniffed him all over, groomed his back where he has trouble reaching, watched over him for a bit and then curled up like this to help him warm up. He endured the attention by pretending to be very deeply asleep. I think they have an understanding! 

You should know, Rose is now fully grown, but for the first year or so of her life she hated all cats, dogs and most humans. Some people who visit me still struggle to believe that she lives here. Very few get to see her ‘in real life’ as it were.

So. There. A day in the life of Bonnie. Complete with various bodily excretions and adorable pet photos. You are WELCOME! Who said I didn’t have the attention span to keep a blog going? This stuff is gold yo! 

💋 Bon.

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