Our new house has a full length mirror and tonight I looked at myself. Like took off my dress and just really looked. Of course at first I saw all my flaws. My fat belly, my dimpled legs, my bingo wings. But then I saw that I stand a cute way, I have strong legs and beautiful tattoo’s. I like my hair this short and it’s natural colour.
Yeah there’s stuff to work on. Of course there is. But I can still like me the way I am now. I can appreciate this body and everything it does to keep me up and moving. I can even look at it and say hey you, I’ve hated on you for long enough. You are amazing. I will look after you, I deserve to feel beautiful.
On the way to bed I walked out to my husband, without putting my dress back on, comfortable for once. Content. Hell, even happy. He yelled at me and hurt me. His disgust was louder than his words. I started to cry. I felt so deflated. Like I’d taken a big step forward and been shoved backwards harder than I deserved.
But I can still be happy. Even if tonight we sleep in separate rooms. I can still like me. I can love the skin I’m in. No one can take that away from me. Not if I’m resilient enough not to let them.
Be brave. Love yourself. The world looks better from here.