Honest to god Daylight Savings causes mild (witnesses say extreme) hysteria as soon as I realize and the only person that can calm me down is my dad. This year I’m at my relatives and Dad wasn’t home when I called. So I yelled at my mum on the phone. It went something like this…
Her: Hello Bon!
Me: No thankyou! Need my dad!
Me: Daylight savings! Savings of daylight! Time travel! Do you want to have this conversation with me or can I have my dad please?
Her: Oh right. Shit. I forget you do this. Um, he’s gone down the street…
Me: on Easter fucking Sunday? I can’t even. Can he call me back directly please?
I hang up the phone and scream/yell/rant about the ridiculousness of Daylight Savings. Mention the Indian anecdote ‘only the government would think that they could make a blanket longer by cutting a foot off one end and sewing it to the other’ more raging, people start arguing with me, we all get a bit shouty, with me becoming increasingly enraged and ridiculous. I sit in three different chairs, wander around, frantically google time travel related daylight saving memes, lose internet coverage and blame time travel, which leads to another rant about me not being the Dr and therefor not built for the complexities of time travel, and then, blessedly for everyone… the phone rings.
It’s my dad. He’s armed and ready with the explanation about when it began during the war and calmly explains history and dates and I start to breathe. This is the way he always starts the call u til he’s sure I’m listening. And I am, but the way I need it explained to me changes every year. Once we’re past the basic history we enter the minefield that is the way my mind works. Dad is a natural and calm debater and oral historian. He does not argue with me. He simply states the facts of whichever information packet that will work this time. He has to be ready for a different perspective and rapid fire questions. He’s great at this. My brain swerves one way and he’s there with facts and figures. It swerves another and he’s equally unflappable and ready again with more information. He’s the only one interested in this topic enough to ignore my irrational fear and hit me with enough facts to calm me down a different way every year. But not too many, because then I get confused again and I might cry, which would horrific for both of us.
Last year realizing that moving the clocks a bit so everyone uses power a bit less and thus saves on greenhouse gasses made me calm. This year he needed to remind me that the Earth is on an axis of 23.5 degrees, hence the length of day’s changing.
It’s not actually the government.
It’s the planet.
Not a conspiracy or the stupidity of the human race, it’s science.
And breeeeaaaaatheeeeeee. I’m calm again and as tired as a puppy with a belly full of milk. A little bit goofy and ready for a nap.
I hope he’s got something up his sleeve for next time. I bet he just loves these phone calls…