I’ve been paring back on New Year’s Eve celebrations since I had kids. Not resentfully, priorities shifted as did my focus. The kids love fireworks, I love watching their delighted faces.
It used to be a night to dance and drink and fuck. But things change, we get older… life goes on. I still like those things by the way, but now I like them whenever I feel like it. Not because it’s expected. It’s all part of my issue with being told to do things as custom dictates. Christmas decorations go up on December first, they come down on New Year’s Eve. No one can even say why, it’s simply what’s done. Rubbish. So by extension I reject NYE resolutions, forced socialising and midnight kissing. Kiss at 12:01 or not at all.
This year I’m conducting an experiment. I’m deliberately doing nothing. Well, not nothing. I’ll be watching movies, eating popcorn, maybe playing board games. I’m a night owl so I might be up at midnight, I might not. What I’m interested in is will I care? How deep does my Fear Of Missing Out go?
I often feel really flat when I feel left out. I don’t like to miss out, despite being a bit of an introvert. I get low when I see newsfeeds full of happy evenings, wild parties, everyone having the time of their lives while I sit alone in bitterness, staring at my phone.
It doesn’t have to be that way though. I can live up to my word. Put my money where my mouth is. I always say do what ever makes you happy and stuff the rest. So I shall. Do I feel up to a big night? Not really. Even if I wanted to go to a club (shudder) Fibro would turn that into a sensory overload nightmare. I want a quiet night in, I will have a quiet night in and I’ll see if any FOMO kicks in.
Wish me luck!
And have a wonderful night doing whatever the heck you want.
Stay weird peeps,
** Update: two days later.
I did stay up until midnight to make sure the dogs were ok with the fireworks. They were. So was I! Movie night, a gut full of popcorn, in bed with a new book by 12:30. Happy as a clam and no FOMO in sight. Win!