Ah-hem

This happened last year and thanks to Facebook memories I’m going to share it here. Because we all need to laugh. My goal for 2019? More funny stuff here. It’s the crunchy nut topping on life.

Because no one ever remembers that they’ve got the sheets on the line until bedtime, Tevita and I find ourselves standing at the clothesline in the middle of he night.

In the darkness across the road someone gently clears their throat. A monster! I low key scream-moan, loudly demand Tevita saves me and bolt. Tevita is in the middle of saying ‘don’t worry honey, I’ll protect you. I don’t care if they see me in my jocks’ but when he turns around in the middle of this declaration I have disappeared. And no, I didn’t go back to check on him.

That’s how fast I will leave a person in the dark, in the middle of the night when I get a small fright.

Oh and if you’re wondering why yes, it turns out this fat girl CAN run when scared. Who knew?

Keep laughing peeps,

X Bon

From my door to yours.

Some stuff I’ve been doing over the last couple of days. Happy moments, puppy photo’s, Autumn shots. Ok yeah, mostly photo’s. Maybe some wise words. Maybe some laughs. Light and fluffy this one!

Took Crowley with me to the kids training night. I’d had a rest day and didn’t walk her. So we went did a lap of the oval and worked on her puppy training. Officially working on voice commands in public, with distractions like cars, kids, dogs, bright lights etc. Honestly though? Her lovely nature keeps me sane and gives me an excuse to focus on her in a crowded place. Plus she only poops and pee’s at home. So that’s turned out to be a weird bonus in public!

Kisses for mumma.

A calmer moment after puppy training.

Past Bonnie ordered some merch from My Favorite Podcast and an email came through reminding me it’s on the way! Whoo hoo! Thanks past Bonnie! You’ve made current Bonnie excited and Future Bonnie will probably squeal at the postman!

Someone shared this meme in my book club group and I looooove it. Accurate, hilarious, on point. All the hallmarks of a good meme. You’re welcome.

Long time fan of Constance Hall. Not as far back as Big Brother, but further than her first book. I pre-ordered both and love them!

Thank god for Facebook! Made her viral, showed me blogging, taught me stuff about my inner queen. Vital! Honestly I love Con and her whole Queen Team. Mum life, wife life, living and loving and growing. Strength and pain. Turmoil, change and joy. It’s aaaaaall good.

I don’t crochet to sell anymore (I recently tried but my hands aren’t reliable enough with Fibro). But I still love making hats and writing my own notes/patterns. This one was for a kid I adore for her birthday. It’s was a rectangle (the fat ribbing part is the brim). When I sewed the rectangle closed and she stuck it on her head it turned into a ‘cat’ hat. She loved it!

Ok, honestly I made a pussy hat. Feminism sneaks in when we’re young from strong women (and men) around us. I think I’ll make a bigger one for myself!

Whoopie rocking the inspiration. And a kick arse tee.

I shared this one on my Facebook page and it snowballed into a joke and then a pact and now whoever dies first will be treated to my glorious husband streaking down the aisle at their funeral. I love it all the levels.

Imagine everyone seated respectfully in a funeral home. Some dressed in black, some in ridiculous clothes (ok, that one is me. I WILL wear rainbows to a funeral and you know it). The music stops, there’s a hush. Just as the minister person takes the stand, hubby runs down the aisle. Naked and screaming WE’RE GOING STREAKING! If it’s not my funeral I might leap up and join him. You are welcome for that image!

Gotta love Will Ferrell!

Today was a Sunday here in Oz and Autumn is beautiful in Australia. We took the back way to a family do this arvo because of roadworks. Hubby drove and I went nuts with my phone camera. Oh Australia, how I love you! Second Spring! Big skies, sunshine, paddocks, livestock, gumtrees. It does good things to my heart. Nothing to see here, just God putting the planet down for a three month nap. Winter is coming people!

I’m rugged up under a blanket on the couch now. It hit 22 degree’s (Celsius) during the day. Now it’s nearly midnight and it’s 8 degree’s. Feels like 5 and my fingertips are numb. Ahhhh perfect snuggling weather.

Those were all taken in the Pentland Hills, Victoria if you’re curious. Love where you live!

I’m nearly up to the second season of West World (no spoilers allowed! Please!).

I feel like I’m gonna need this meme after I’ve finished the second season!

Holy moly it’s a ride! I recommend it. Highly. And I don’t do that often. These are the shows it gives a nod to, with Anthony Hopkins reprising the same level of sinister language perfection from Silence of the Lambs. Jurassic World, Hunger Games, Black Mirror, Wild Wild West, Twilight Zone and more. You’ll love the soundtrack too, trust me. I’m 34, I watched it with an 18 year old and we both loved the music. Take a peek behind the curtain. Thank me later. Oh and don’t start with the 1975 version, go straight to the new one. I found the entire first two seasons on Foxtel. You can find it there or wherever you ‘find’ your content. Again, you are welcome!

So. That’s my life lately in a nutshell.

I’ll leave one more pic.

That was the view from my back porch this morning. But not too early this morning, it’s a Bloody Sunday after all! Ahhhh Autumn. The heart sings!

Stay weird peeps.

X Bon.

Just be there.

Facebook! You’re sharing golden memories lately. Loooving that feature!

Here’s what Facebook showed me today. Still a great memory.

Still excellent. I’m not currently sick or in hossie, but we all know how hard it is to visit a non verbal or seriously ill friend. It can be awkward for both of you. So read that book, stick that damn note to the front in sticky tape. Tell the person you’ve come to see them, you can see they’re not well, so you might just sit down for a bit and read to them.

Kindness is in the little things.

It’s better than staring at an awful painting or god forbid, talking about the weather… (I actually really enjoy deep discussions about the weather. Types of clouds, the rain they produce, long range weather forecasts, weather changes and patterns and even historical data, coldest day in 23 years… but I digress).

You are the highlight of my day, no matter what happens. Sit for a bit, hold my hand, throw grapes at my head until I wake up. Read to me. Pull my finger. Flash a nurse. That’s always fun. Just be there. If you make me laugh that’ll get you 10,000 bonus points. But the best thing is? You came. You saw. You were there. You were escorted from the hospital for public nuisance and hilarity. This applies to bedside visits at home too! Although maybe skip the flashing. We can’t be teaching the children bad habits now.

X Bon

I’m writing a book!

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Yeah you read that write (haha).

I tried last year to write one and I liked it, I had fun yadda yadda.  But trying to write a piece of fiction with plot, characters and narrative traction is just not gonna happen with my current mental state. So move over Diary of  Wimpy Kid, cos here comes one for the grown ups.  What’s that you say? An excerpt? Why I really couldn’t, ok then, if you insist! I mean I know you probably didn’t, but I like it better my way.

Sometimes I wonder how I would appear in a court room (it’s only a matter of time).
Like not on what charge, that’s the beauty of being me, I don’t worry about the big stuff. But how people would see me. I have finally settled on charismatic and witty with the power to rip someone’s head off with my intellect.
We’re talking me, on my best day. It’s a good mix.
Step 1: Make the jury laugh and warm up the room (my life is one long comedy festival).
Step 2: Tear apart the slimy lawyer.
Step 3: Saunter out of the court room after slapping the witness box and announcing ‘case closed’.
Step 4: Probably go to jail.
Do you love it already? Cos I do and that’s all that really matters.  It’s my book and it’s keeping me from pulling out all my toe nails.  Besides, my motto is Do The Thing.  Do it now.  Life is short or bug arse long depending on your current mindset. You may as well spend it doing entertaining things.  Cross off the bucket list now. Cos tomorrow we might all blow up.  Or melt down.  I mean, it depends on what happens first.  Whether a world leader presses the big red button or the planet boils.  Either way, grab a glass of wine, decapitate a butterfly, paint that picture, do a cross stitch with all 6 strands of cotton. LIVE. It’s kinda what we’re here for.
X Bon.